


i wish that i had known in that first minute we met, the unpayable debt that i owed you

by pimmingswool



Category: Degrassi, Degrassi Next Class, dnc
Genre: M/M, Soulmate AU, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 18:06:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8677558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pimmingswool/pseuds/pimmingswool
Summary: soulmate au starring tristan and miles





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> idk this is chapter one of something that's probs going to be like four chapters max.  
> soulmate au where everything is monochromatic until ya meet your partner.
> 
> next parts should be uploaded within the next few days, I'm just too tired to add them rn,,, lol

Soulmates weren't common.

Miles Hollingsworth III had known that.

Everyone had one, everyone had been very aware that they'd had one, but for the most part people chose to neglect it. People were much more inclined to find someone that they could bear to live with than they were to find "The One."

Miles had remembered being a child and hearing children on the playground being able to see color.  
"Oh Sarah you won't believe it! I see in color! I really do!" chimed one kid. "Yeah? Then what color is this leaf?" snorted another, leaving the other kid blank minded.

The only soulmates Miles had ever thought to have known were his parents, which he realized was also unreal by the time he turned twelve years old when he'd heard his mother slumped against the door crying.

Miles had assumed she and dad had gotten into another fight again.

"I hate you," she cried, "I don't know why I ever settled for you, oh my soulmate, wherever he may be, God do I hope he's happy right now."

Miles had accepted he wouldn't have a soulmate for years now, he'd just known. It wasn't a bother to him just common knowledge. Seeing the world in grays was all he'd never known, perhaps throwing it away for some soulmate was a bad idea anyways, perhaps it would frighten Miles, he was secure where he was.

It was the eighteenth birthday of Miles.  
His parents had forgotten, unsurprisingly, so he'd just given himself some space to breathe outside of his family, deciding to go into town, grab a coffee from The Dot or something. Maybe catch up with Winston if he was through gushing over Miles's sister.

His hand were seeped into the pockets of his salmon colored pants, his hair hadn't been washed in a day, and was in desperate need of a cut. He had eye bags that could hold his wallet and because of the abundance of exhaustion that weighted his shoulders he'd found himself slouched over, walking in a hunched form, not lifting his eyes from the sidewalk. His throat was dry and he hadn't brought himself to talk to anybody yet, but he'd just known that his voice was groggy and scratchy.

He pushed open the doors of The Dot, awaiting a cup of a nauseatingly sweet frappe of some sort, but was instead greeted with a blistering headache and the brush of a stranger's shoulder against his own. His eyes widened, mouth opened, he'd inhaled sharply, suddenly feeling very dizzy. Miles' eyes had been plagued, scorched, he had found them hard to open, and when they did flutter ajar he found himself on the floor of another world.

No, not actually another world, from what he could tell, The Dot was still the same, same layout, same people same everything. But his world was altered nonetheless, his world had what he could only assume to be color.

His heart was racing, everything was so bright, so ebullient. He'd never expected this to be what color was. He'd heard of colors, he's heard of greens and blues and reds but never had he figured this is what he was missing out on. He too a breath, his face had a smile plastered on it, oh it'd been so long since he'd smiled. He'd basked in this new world around him.

Then it hit him.  
He'd been seeing in color.  
Miles Hollingsworth III was alive and seeing in color.  
Color the thing that so few people on this planet had and will ever known.  
Color that was so warm and comforting.  
Color that only confronted those who had found their soulmate.

Miles darted out of the coffee shop and found two people hunched over outside of the coffee shop, from what he gathered one of these two had to have gotten the wave of color.

He'd immediately recognized the girl, with hair that had fallen down just above her shoulders, a color that Miles couldn't place that was close to the color's of the world he'd previously inhabited but not quite, her hair was much.

Colorier.

She was giggling and crying into the arms of the boy that sat next to her, with hair Miles had recognized to be black, that had been slicked back. His clothes were bright to the point Miles had almost found himself blinded, this boy had to have been colorblind to have picked that outfit out. He was smiling to, stroking his hair wile smiling at the girl.

She was cute, Miles couldn't complain if she was his soulmate.

He approached them.

"Oh Tristan, Tristan your shirt is red!" she shouted, a grin on her face.

How did she know the name of the colors already? She must've been pretty smart. Smart, hm, Miles liked it.

"Red? My shirt is red? Well I definitely know it's a fashion faux pas, really unflattering against my skintone," he said, rubbing his eyes. 

It was at that moment it hit Miles.  
The girl wasn't his soulmate.  
The boy who'd found himself in a fashion crisis was.

He gulped, and stepped toward them, "Sorry to interrupt but may I ask if anybody around here i well, uh," he interrupted himself with a laugh of slight embarrassment, "seeing colors?"

The ebony haired boy's face turned a shade that matched his shirt, "Yeah, I think so."


	2. you're the only one that makes my heart beat;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have no clue how this chapter thing works  
> same as before, this time with a plot wow

That was the first time Miles had met Tristan, and the last time he'd ever walk the streets without a hand slipped delicately into his own. Miles quite liked grasping Tristan's hands, his fingers were the perfect size to slide into the crevices between his own fingers.

Nobody had believed Miles when he told them he'd found his soulmate, they'd all believed he was fooling them, which was reasonable, considering he'd made a habit of covering up his fibs with even more fabrications. But after revealing Tristan to his family, and them realizing just how surreal and skillfully synced the too boys were, their doubts slowly evolved into pride for their son.

Days fled past the soulmates, weeks, months, the two so hopelessly in love. 

It wasn't until the fourth month they'd known each other that it happened.

The two were in a car, an accelerating car, a speeding car, a rapidly darting car that felt as though the world around them were turning. They yelled at the driver to stop, a clearly drunken driver, a driver blinded by blossoms of gin that grew over his vision and bloomed over his mind, plaguing it with weeds. It wasn't stopping, they were still yelling. cries erupting from two boys who were clinging together like magnets. Tristan was squeezing onto Miles to the point in which his arm was going on but the two boys were too overwhelmed to notice.

The car swerved, and stopped, the driver stepping out and puking, and Tristan and Miles hopping out as well, refusing to pay the driver, and receiving some drunken obscene words and gestures in retaliation. 

Miles whipped around, looking at Tristan with imploring eyes, noticing that he'd gotten a bruise across his cheek. The past few minutes were such a blur that Miles couldn't even begin to fathom what had harmed his soulmate.

"Are you okay?" he asked between heavy breaths.

Tristan was still panting.

Miles hated seeing him like this, and he took his arm and wrapped it around Tristan's waste, pulling him in and quickly closing his lips on Tristan's.

The kiss had felt like learning to see colors for the first time, the kiss was every mile over the speed limit their taxi driver had gone, their tongues dancing around each others mouth. The kiss was everything, Tristan threw his arms around Miles's shoulders and shuffled his hands through his hair. 

The two reluctantly pulled away, but their eyes made it clear that they wanted more from one another, as if they had been suffocating for so long and that kiss was their way to breathe.

"I'm definitely okay now," Tristan said, his lips folding into a gleaming grin.

Miles smiled, "I love you."

****

Tristan's hand was cuffed around Miles's, as it should be, and they slid into the room of Hollingsworth III. Tristan rested his head on Miles's shoulder. 

"I'm so glad I met you," he murmured. "I'm so glad you walked into that cheesy coffee shop as I walked out, and I'm so glad to be able to hold your hand and I'm so glad to be sitting on your bed with you right now, my face pressed into your shoulder and-" he cut himself off. "I'm sorry, i think I get a little rambly."

Miles simpered at him, looking at his soulmate's twinkling sapphire orbs, "It's cute," he said, "If I could hear anyone ramble for the rest of my life, it would be you."

Tristan was glowing, "Even when I ramble about my favorite clothing brands?" he was only half serious, as he said this.

"Don't push the compliment," Miles semi-joked, "but I suppose I'd rather you than anyone else." Miles swaddled his arm around Tristan. "Y'know, for a while, I didn't even really believe in soulmates."

Tristan's eyes widened, and his jaw practically dropped to the floor. "You're joking?"

"No, dead serious," he continued, "you'll find it's pretty hard to convince me to believe anything anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Miles shrugged, "I don't know I just tend to be pretty cynical towards people and have learned to accept that whatever they say is bullshit. I don't know, to tell you the truth I'm not very religious, I kinda stopped being so once I found out the truth about the Tooth Fairy."

Tristan nodded, still looking a bit confused about the words dripping out of Miles's mouth. "I've never doubted soulmates," he said, "Probably because Zoe met hers in sixth grade and never stopped talking about it."

Miles noted, "Don't blame her, having a soulmate is pretty amazing."

They sat in silence for a while, mindlessly scrolling through shitty TV shows and giggling at the poor acting from time to time.

"Tristan."

"Yeah?"

"I do believe in something, and if it's okay with you I'd like to share my beliefs, because I think you deserve to know them."

"Okay," Tristan's voice slid indicating a bit of discomfort, but Miles didn't care, he opened his mouth and kept talking anyways.

"Tristan Milligan if there's one thing I believe it's that this planet is spiraling out of control, it's spiraling and whirling and it's eventually going to lead us into oblivion. I believe that our lives are passing us by and that many of us aren't taking the time to live through anything cause we're so tired of everything around us. and that this world is plagued with insensitive human beings that want to deprive us of our happiness, and Tristan, my God, Tristan, not much makes me happy anymore, my lungs feel like collapsing in on themselves every time my dad is around me, I wal a trail of disappointment that winds up harming everyone I care about and half of the time I wish I was dead because I feel like I'm better off that way," he paused, inhaling sharply, "But Tristan, my Tristan, the one thing I believe even more strongly than that is you, I believe in you and I believe in us, without you it's hard to say I'd even be here anymore."

Tristan was clearly lost for words, but he managed an "I love you."

"I'm in love with you."

"Thanks for being the Kanye to my Kim."

~~~~~

Miles had been dragged into babysitting his younger brother for at least the fifth time this month, and to say he was unhappy about it was an understatement.

He was supposed to be with Tristan, hands laced together, heads resting on each other saying sickeningly sweet things together as the sky sifted and folded into a blanket of stars before their eyes.

But he wasn't.

He was home with his brother and that was about as far from romantic as one could get.

Miles didn't usually mind coming through for his family, especially either of his siblings, but today was different, he and Tristan had been dreaming of this day for months now, it was their six month anniversary after all, but it was ripped away from Miles.

"Please, can Tristan come over mom, please I'm not asking for a lot." Miles pleaded.

"Miles, that could be potentially triggering for your brother, you know how he gets when you divide your attention." Miles' mother spoke, voice bleeding with annoyance. 

Miles was bitter to say the least, he'd been eighteen, and adult, but still felt obligated to live under the laws of his dumbass parents.

So now Miles was on the couch, lounging around like a lazy house cat and chugging down bottles of Pepsi. Hunter sat on the chair next to him, fiddling with his thumbs, clearly bored out of his mind, the look in his eyes was one familiar to Miles, on where he'd been about to crack.

"Hey Hunter, you seem to really like that uh one game the one with the like dragons and stuff," Miles started, trying to ease the heavy but unnecessary tension.

"World of Warcraft."

"Yes, that one."

Hunter side eyed miles, "Yeah? And why do you care? You gonna make fun of me for it? Sorry for getting pleasure out of something."

"I was going to ask you if you could teach me to play."

Hunter's eyes widened, "What?"

"I want to learn to play," Miles repeated, sitting up a bit and crossing his arms.

Hunter shook his head, and gave a laugh of disbelief, "No, no, no, you hate this stuff I know you do." 

Miles shrugged, "Maybe if you taught me to play it, I wouldn't hate it, even if it is for nerds."

"Mom said no video games."

"Mom's not here."

The two boys met eyes, each with mischief dancing in them, they'd quickly rushed into getting the game set up.

To Miles's surprise, he'd been playing for hours, cackling and getting surprisingly competitive with his brother.

Miles had lost the duels with his brother with every battle.

Miles just told himself that he was letting Hunter win.

Miles was very aware that he was lying to himself.

Miles was aimlessly hitting the controls, hoping that he was doing something that would land some form of attack.

"You suck at this," Hunter teased.

"No I-" Miles froze.

His world went grey.

~~~~~~

He immediately texted Tristan, awaiting a response, awaiting for anything, nothing, he called, he called again. He cracked his knuckles and paced the floor. 

"What's gotten into you?" Hunter asked, "Pissed you haven't been able to beat me?"

"Shut your damn mouth Hunter," Miles snapped, "I think Tristan might be hurt."

Hunter had seen Miles like this before, it was the feeling he got when it looked like Dad was becoming violent, or when Frankie had gone missing for a while, it was a feeling well known to Miles but was much of an enemy.

Hunter was worried for him.

Miles got a phone call, and impulsively answered, not bothering to even read who had dialed.

"Tristan!" he exclaimed.

A broken voice picked up the phone, "No, not Tristan," Miles had recognized the voice immediately, Zoe Rivas, the girl he'd initially thought to be his soulmate.

"Zoe? Are you okay? Have you seen Tristan? Where's Tristan where-" Miles was interrupted by Zoe.

"I'm, I'm at the hospital, Tristan's here too and I um, I think you should be here."

Miles didn't bother to reply, he hung up and darted out of his house, forgetting about Hunter entirely and dropping his wits behind him as well, he hadn't bothered to take a car, that seemed useless to him, he knew his legs would get him there so much quicker. He was heaving, tears forming in his eyes partially due to the wind hitting against them and partially because his soulmate was in danger. he felt his throat condensing, tightening, making it hard to breathe but his will to see Tristan was far stronger than his need for air. He heard cars honking at him as he stupidly ran across roads and payed little regard to the cars whirring, speeding, buzzing around him.

He charged into the hospital, and immediately saw Zoe, sobbing into her hands.

Miles' heart wrenched.

"Where is he?" Miles asked, but it was more of a demand, voice firm, eyes red and drained with desperation.

Zoe pointed with lackluster at the door nearest to her, and Miles stared with despair through the small window that revealed where his boyfriend lay.

Miles felt his heart drop.

His boyfriend had never looked so pale, so apathetic, so lifeless.

"Car wreck," Zoe sobbed, "That's what happened to him."

"Is he going to be okay?"

Zoe shook her head.

"You're lying," he felt his voice get hoarse, "He's fine Zoe, I know he is, I.." Miles was suddenly aware that the world around him was indeed gray, and that he'd lost the colors, the world was dull and lacked life.

Zoe just gazed with lethargy at the dull walls, eyes wet and tired.

"No, no, no," Miles was yelling now, "Not him, not Tristan, not my Tristan." He felt his heart doing something, he couldn't quite place whether it had just slowed down or if it had been going rapidly, he had burst through the doors, "anybody but my Tristan," he'd thought.

But he was in there, and the love of his life was in a bed, very very still, and very very de-

inanimate.

He shook his head and a nurse looked at him with pity, "I take it you're Mr. Hollingsworth? Yes, the girl that was in the wreck with him told me she thought you'd be coming. I'm very sorry to tell you that Mr. Milligan is a cause we can't save."

Miles shook his head, and felt a smile creep on his face, this was just a sick prank, a bad dream, he wasn't going to buy into this facade. His boyfriend, his soulmate, his everything was no hurricane thunderclap. His boyfriend, his soulmate, his everything, was still very alive, still very okay, still going to celebrate their six month anniversary right now.

Six months had felt like a lifetime, and he wanted the life to be eternal, there was no way he'd lost it, there's no way such a soft squeeze had taken Tristan from him, there was no way on this godforsaken planet that happened or would he let it happen. He grabbed Tristan's hand and squeezed it "Hey, Tris, it's me, Miles, I love you, you're beautiful, your eyes are so pretty. I don't know if I ever told you this but your eye color, your pretty pretty eyes, are what inspired me to learn the names of the colors in this world, in our world. May I please see your eyes again? Please Tristan."   
There was no response.

"Mr. Hollingsworth-"

"Tristan please!" Miles was shouting, "Say something anything, hit me, yell at me do anything just don't die!"

The only he got in return was the mourning drone of the alarms around him, and he collapsed onto the floor.

Miles pondered the last text he'd sent his boyfriend, his soulmate, his everything.

"Happy anniversary, I love you! To six months and many more!" it had read.

Oh, but it was so wrong.

And oh, Miles had never been more emotionally destroyed in his life.

He lost control of his body, and began to weep onto the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wHOOPS  
> kinda had to vent on my thoughts on how i feel like the bus crash went  
> i'm not okay with tristan dying but it sounds likely so this was my preparation for it ig does that makes sense
> 
> sort of based on kettering- the antlers


End file.
